I thought I should point out that when I say, "I'm enormous," that's not code for, "I'm fat and ugly."
When I say, "I'm enormous," I just mean, "I'm enormous." My belly is big. I don't normally look down and see something quite that large. It's an unusual state of being and when I say, "I'm enormous," I'm just pointing that out. Sure, it's an exaggeration, but I feel like when you have another human being growing inside of your body, and it's difficult to get up off the couch, and almost impossible to get up out of a bed, and you waddle whenever you walk, when you're the same size at 28 weeks with your 4th baby as you were at 39 weeks with your first, exaggeration is totally called for.
This is not to say that I don't have body image issues when I am non-pregnant (though I am of the opinion that even then, those issues are pretty mild), just not now.
I'm pregnant, I'm large, I'm enormous, I'm nourishing a growing human life, I'm a goddess, I'm glowing, I'm cumbersome, I'm awkward, I'm electric, I am an amazing conduit for everyday miracles, but I am neither fat nor ugly.
3 comments:
I am glad to hear it.
dento
I'm sorry, I mean't you are enormously beautiful!
I had been stuck watching the news for four days everytime I ate. And everytime there was a shot of the CA mom's belly! It was impossible to see anything but a three ring circus.
No, nothing to be sorry about. I was uncomfortable with it as soon as I wrote it but I didn't know why. Then I realized that you can't write, "I'm enormous," without the self-loathing connotation and I was irritated with myself for not getting that right away.
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