I was trying to collect sad things today but I actually only came up with two. One) I have a blister on my right wrist where it rests against the desk while I maneuver the mouse. Two) At Taco Bell today I saw someone who I am certain I am related to, but I wasn't sure of her name so I said nothing and tried to pretend I didn't even see her. I believe she is a cousin or something on my dad's side. Also sad is that I don't like Taco Bell at all anymore and I used to think it was something close to divine. That's a bit sad, but not sad enough to merit its own number and parenthesis.

Side note: I thought that just one parenthesis would be a parenthese, but I was wrong. [rolleyes]

Saren got a letter from a little girl today that she wrote to a while back. We found her address in a magazine for homeschooling. Somehow I feel like I already mentioned that we did that. She also got a postcard from her great grandma. And! We got a valentine. Hooray for mail! Saren has already written back to her homeschool-girl pen pal. Hopefully she is not an old pervert man posing as a six-year-old. Oh, crap. Why did I put that thought in my mind?

I decided to write earlier than usual today because my husband complains of not having anything to read while he is at work. [ROLLEYES]

And now I must go and do dishes and make dinner. Oh yeah! Went grocery shopping and bought... let's say it all together...

PEPSI !!!!

I have very little to say. My cold sore seemed to be going away but apparantly that was just a ruse. Cold sores are obviously evil and shifty.

I like watching Charisma's developing belly. In the episode before last, she sat down and her hand went right to it. It began to rest there comfortably, but then she remembered that she is an actress who is playing a character that is apparantly not pregnant, and she moved her hand away. But I noticed because I always used to put my hand on my belly when I was pregnant. It was all sweet (seeing her do it).

But for some reason I can't get away from talk of pregnancy and babies. Granted, a lot of it is my own.

I have a cold sore and it hurts. [pout] Ouch. Pouting hurts.

Saren and Harper had an exquisite time at the park today. Well, probably not exquisite, but I am trying to avoid using the word "good" so often. I had a teacher who called "good" a dead word. The shizzle-ator (is that what it was called?) turned all my "good"s into "gravy". Perhaps I will just use that instead. Where was I? Ah, tangents. How I love thee. Anyhow, Saren and Sarah hit it off quite well and Harper enjoys dirt. My ex-step-aunt's other child is named Zach, thus I give you partial lyrics:

sara, spelled without an "h" was getting bored
on a peavey amp in 1984
while zak without a "c" tried out some new guitars
playing sara with no "h"'s favorite song
~Ben Folds Five

We went out to dinner at Applebee's (dude, don't you love credit cards?) and then went to Target and bought the girls each a book and a packet of stickers. We came home, played a game, and now Pat is reading Saren a chapter from Harry Potter.

The End.

Well, I mean, not the end. Probably there will be more. Like, later we will watch the ep of Angel that we recorded and we might play another game, but for the purposes of this blog...

The End.

Oh, but. I wanted to say that I finished reading "Where Angels Fear to Tread". I liked the end somewhat more than the beginning, which must be why I didn't finish it the first two or three times I picked it up. Next book to read that I own but have not yet read: "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man". Um... probably.

The End.

Crap and damn. I keep forgetting to make a blog entry for today.

Amy made me feel all mushy and I think it's giving me writer's block.

My girls put stamps all over their bodies today. Then they drew all over their bodies with marker (some of which were not washable, as I found out later when I put them in the tub.) Harper was very very taken with her "tattoos". She held her arms away from her body and kept telling me not to mess them up. :)

I've been trying to say something over and over and I keep deleting it because I can't get my words straight. I was inspired by Amy, but for some reason I am currently ineloquent. Perhaps I will be eloquent tomorrow. Suffice it to say (in case I don't feel so mushy tomorrow), I am very glad for the people I have met through the internet. I'm not sure I previously believed it possible to form friendships solely on the internet (yes I met Pat that way, but I also had the advantage of living in the same city as him and being able to meet him in person fairly quickly), but now I know it is. I'm so grateful to have met the people that I have and I am looking forward to getting to know them even better. [heart]

My husband has brought me food (chocolate included!), so I will go now. He's a good guy.

So I found out that an ex-step-aunt* is also homeschooling her kids, ages 8 and 5. The 5 year old is a girl and is named Sarah [eyebrow]. I haven't seen this ex-step-aunt since Saren was maybe 1 or so. We are most likely going to be meeting them at a nearby park on Wednesday. Hopefully, we'll be able to do stuff together often and hopefully Saren and Sarah will click. She could use a good full-time friend.

I'm relatively certain that some sort of change is needed in my life. I'm 98% sure that the change needed isn't a new baby. I'm 86% sure that the needed change isn't more money, although I do tend to bitch. Maybe I just need to go to the movies with my husband. It's been quite some time since we had a "date". It might happen more often if I trusted my kids to anyone other than my mother. (And I don't even really feel all that comfortable leaving them with her. I have problems.) Maybe I just need new pants.

*ex-step-aunt=sister of my mother's second husband to whom she is no longer married (this is why people with children should avoid divorce, it helps prevent wierd relation-descriptions)

Okay, I changed my mind again. I have nothing against ABC. I missed the first twenty minutes of Alias because I was unaware there was a new one. I recorded the last 40 minutes and I just finished watching it and... !!!! First the... and then the.... and then did you see? And oh my god! I think I'm still all tensed up and shaking from the adrenaline rushing through my body. Or caffiene. I am consuming a quite large Pepsi. Ah, Pepsi, kick-ass Alias, and bread. Life is good.

...And at the end! Ack!

I changed my mind. There are many things wrong with the world and one of them is the Some word that starts with A Broadcasting Company. American?

Whatever it is, I hate them!!!

Oh. My. God.

There is bread in my oven and with the resulting smells permeating the whole house, it is hard to believe there is anything at all wrong with the world. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

I can't decide whether I have a generally good opinion of people and then a few of them destroy that optimistic outlook with their craptastic selves, or whether I have a generally cynical, misanthropic view of humanity and a few people prove that wrong by being awesome.

Either way, sometimes people surprise me.

I've been working on a little something that I think you all will enjoy. I have created a webpage dedicated entirely to my husband's fro!!! We tend to see my husband's hair as quite a phenomenon in our household. Sometimes we just sit and watch his hair the way that other people sit in front of a fireplace and watch the flames dance. Sometimes we pray to it. You should too! We get fairly good results. Although, at the moment Patfro is in hibernation (read: cut short), so we are having financial difficulties. We don't worry too much though. As they always say (they being me), Patfro always returns!

In other news, I worked altogether too long and too hard to find the right picture and size it just right to put on my comments, so I feel justified in asking for lots of compliments. Try to use the phrase "indescribably gorgeous" if you can.

I always like to prove myself wrong. The past two nights I have had dreams which most decidedly did not fit into any of my Dream Themes.

In the first I was in a bookstore and bettie was there. She was sitting on the floor and my daughters were sitting in her lap. She was going to read to them from a Lord of the Rings book which had pretty maps in it. I got upset because I had wanted to read that to them and I walked over and said, "Nonononononono!" Well, bettie's feelings were really hurt and I could see that right away so I tried to recant and tell her I didn't mean it and she could read the book to them if she wanted, but she was having none of it. That is all I remember of that one.

The next one involves monkeys on roller skates. I think. First they were human waiters in a one-table outdoor restaurant that was on a tiny island. And then some of them were monkeys.

So.

Um.. [shifty] Not sure I should have shared that last bit....

Today was quite lovely. Pat was off and we stayed home all day just lollygagging. We all danced around the livingroom to Elvis (Saren's fave) and we laughed and played and tickled and, you know, just...were.

I love my kids. They smell good and they're beautiful even when they have pizza sauce smeared all over them.

Dude. I totally just sent an email to Steve from Blue's Clues. I'm feeling a little bit pathetic about it, but trying to move beyond that. Seriously, though, of his songs that I have downloaded, I really like his music. Here is his web page.

Also, I rejoice in the fact that homestarrunner.com is back up. Hooray!

In doing new things news, I must sadly report that there has been no progress. Unless you count sending an email to a former children's TV show star. But I was too boring! I should have offered sex.

Well, I finally figured out how to make myself write. Do it on the internet! Although really, this has only been working for the past two days, so maybe I shouldn't count my chickens before they become well-crafted and interesting stories.

Thoughts about my life: I think I am stuck in a rut. I think I stick with the familiar far too often. I need to go to some new places, eat something I have never eaten, learn about something I never heard of before. I need to shake things up. The girls could use some shaking up too. They have been spending too much of their time lately doing the same old crap. Which they like, but still, they could use some newness in their lives. Some kind of interesting-ness. Of course, this won't go over well with Patfro. He dislikes change.

Also, money. According to the issue of Prevention magazine, which came unbidden in the mail yesterday, money does not buy happiness. However, I would like to vouch for it's usefulness. Having very little can make one very aware of that characteristic.

My Dream Themes

Almost all of my dreams fall into one of these categories. It makes dreaming kind of boring.

1. Packing Dream- I am either at home, about to move somewhere else or I am on vacation and it is almost time to go home. I need to pack up all my belongings, I have waited too long, and I have only a few or no boxes or suitcases. An inordinately long amount of time is spent panicking and throwing things into whatever I can find (pillowcases, garbage bags, backseat of the car, willy-nilly). I don't like this type of dream. I know it sounds mundane, but I hate the panicky feeling.

2. Water Dream- I haven't actually had one of these in a while. It's just characterized by me being surrounded by a lot of water. Like in one I was being swept down a river. Once, when I was younger and was staying at my dad's house, I went to sleep on his loveseat and had a dream that I was floating in an ocean full of mattresses and I was trying to get on one of them. When I woke up, I wasn't on the loveseat anymore. I was on the much longer couch.

3. School Dreams- Usually these involve my needing to get to a class that I haven't been to in a long long time. Sometimes I will be in high school and there will just be one class that I went to once and then never again and I am thinking about how I really need to go, but I am nervous about what will happen. A recent additional element to this dream is that at some point in the middle of it, I will realize that I already graduated from high school and I don't actually need to be there anymore. But I don't leave. [shrug]

4. Cave or Building Dreams- I am inside a huge labyrinthine building (often a mall) or a series of caves and I am either running from someone or trying to find my way out.

It would be nice if I could have some other kind of dream once in a while.

You know, maybe if I had a stripper pole in my bedroom, my life would be of a better quality.

Okay. Well I screwed around with the colors and I think I have them the way I want them. Now I just need to come up with a new name. I had an amusing time looking at title generators. From a song title generator: "Dogs Feeling Portrait Proud", "Bypass Hope, Neat Vampire" (or "Bypass Hope Monkey Vampire"), "Barefaced Pigs Snapping Cigarettes", and "Moonglow Something Black Academy". From a B-movie title generator: "Vengeance From Time", "The Hospital of the Sexy Aliens", and "Sexy Ghosts". :)

Here are some other ideas:

"Assorted Lies and Half-truths"
"Random Patterns"
"Looking-glass House"
"Advice From a Caterpillar"
(can you tell I am looking at a copy of Alice in Wonderland?)
"A Perfect Day for Bananafish"
"With Love and Squalor"
(now what am I looking at?)
(also in that vein...)
"Stephanie's [purple3] Period"
(heeheehee... this is rather fun.)
"Love in the Time of Caller ID"
"Beer and Clothing in Las Vegas"

Okay, better stop that now.

We went to the bookstore today and bought a calendar for $3. I usually like to wait until a couple weeks into January to get a calendar because they get really cheap. Unfortunately we waited a little bit too long and the selection was pretty crappy. We ended up getting a Harry Potter one. With the artwork, not with the scenes from the movie. (There weren't even any pictures of Snape in the movie one!) I also got my brothers birthday presents. I got Chance, who is turning 18, "School is Hell" by Matt Groening. [laughing head] I got Sean, who is turning 14, a hobbit journal. I saw a book with LotR artwork by the Hildebrant brothers in it. It was lovely but too expensive.

At the bookstore we asked a magic eight ball whether we should eat out. It was a Simpsons magic eight ball. It said "Mmmmm....something." Three times. So we took that to mean, "Eat at McDonald's." Because McDonald's food is "something".

I also got the latest copy of Home Education Magazine, from which I extracted this bit of wisdom: "Give [children] power and respect, and they become respected and powerful." ~Sandra Dodd

I need to do the dinner thing.

There is all kinds of newness in bloggish concerns, and I had a hankerin' for a new look for mine. But then I discovered that I am too lame to figure out how to put a blogskin on this thingie. Well, that's not true. I had it changed momentarily but then I got all freaked out and came back to good ol' Cranberry here. [/dork2]

I finished my GAP thingie all in a hurry today and pardon me, but it really is kinda lame.

In other news, today I did not see the sun. I assume it was there, right where it normally is, but once again, I did not see it.

In other other news, ......fuckit! I hate it when there is no other other news.

I hope Pat brings me home some chocolate. Because if he doesn't, he's definitely going back out to get me some .

Superhero music! Cut and Paste!!!!


So today we went to the cheap-o bag-your-own-groceries grocery store and it surprised me by being all great. It must've been that it was just the one that we used to live by that sucked. And we bought Pepsi! 3 twelve packs! There is a small chance that I will waste a few drops so that the girls and I can find out whether it really does clean pennies better than lemon juice, but I don't know. That's kind of.... well, let's just say it makes me a little bit uncomfortable. Maybe Pat will drink the Pepsi after it gets all dirty and then it won't go to waste. He'll drink anything! As long as it's Pepsi.

We also went to Rufio's Haha Grill, I mean Rubio's Baja Grill (Ru-fee-ooooooooooh!!!) for dinner and it was quite the numalisciousness. There was chicken involved.

I am this close to scrapping Haloscan. I am also thinking of changing my blog's template (or skin as some would call it!). I am thinking purple. [/what?]

What else was I going to say? I can't remember. Oh well.

Oh yeah! Whoring myself out on other people's blogs really paid off!

Crap. I forgot to say:

~Trogdor the Burninator (burninating the peasants!)

You know what I love?

Money. Mmmmm. Money.

I'm going to the cheap-o bag-your-own grocery store tomorrow, because they are having a really good sale on Pepsi®. I don't usually like to go there because their produce sucks, but come on! 3 twelve-packs for 7 dollars? That's pretty good.

Saren and Harper cleaned their pennies in lemon juice today. It didn't work as well as Saren had hoped, but she liked doing it.

So, for my birthday (in 69 days!) I told Pat I want a sewing machine. I also decided today that I want to take a trip to San Luis Obispo on or around my birthday. Whee!

And that's about it.

Hello. I am doing a test. Nothing but a test. Run away!

I said this earlier on the board, but I think it bears repeating: Hello Kitty does not speak. So why did they make a telephone that has her voice on it? In reference to this I would also like to add [eyebrow] and [shifty].

Also, I do not understand in the least why my children refuse to eat anything but pizza and candy. And spaghetti. I make them good food and they reject it. Every time. They are the food-rejecting queens of the universe. Shepherd's Pie for the Culinarily Impaired is good, damnit.

I am downloading songs from Sponge Bob Squarepants for myself. I mean for Saren. Yes, for Saren.

I need to find a way for us to either be wealthy enough that Pat doesn't have to work anymore or I need to find a way for us to earn money and have Pat stay home too. Pat didn't have to go to work until 6:30 today and it was really nice. We went to the park and played Sorry (I won!) and ate dinner together and everything.

At the park Pat was pushing Saren on the swings and she leaned back and flipped over backward and fell off. I let out a little scream which probably didn't help matters because she was fine. Watching your daughter fall over backward onto her head is a little alarming though. She claimed she would never go on the swings again, but she did and has fully recovered her swinging confidence. [up]

There was a guy at the park who was shooting off model rockets. It reminded me of when I used to do that every year at school in Telluride. I think I would like to do the same thing with the girls. I remember all the boys used to pick the big phallic scary rockets and all the girls picked little cute ones and painted them pink and purple.

Last night we watched Square Pegs on TV Land. I had never seen it before. Oh. My. God. That was the worst show ever. There was a scene in which a teacher dragged her fingernails across a chalkboard to get the students attentions. Pat and I cringed, but really, the whole show was like that. Their clothes reminded me of when I was 9 or 10. Plaid button-up blouses with ruffles along the buttons. Heehee.

Another Saren mishearing~
Me: Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!
Saren: I'm not an evil smudge!

Maybe I should get her ears checked.

No. More entertaining this way.

I also like how Saren says "twoth" instead of "second".

Now I have to decide whether or not to play the Buffy game with Pat when he gets home. In case you're wondering, this is not the game in which I am Buffy and Pat is Spike (or whoever). It's the one that has a board and pieces and it sucks because whoever made it didn't think it out for very long. Pat likes it because it is Buffy and he is loyal. I don't like it because I have a brain. (Whether or not Pat has a brain is being researched at the moment (Achoo!, *types* "Bless you!" [rolleyes])

I worked hard all day at nothing. And I accomplished it too!

Sadly, though, I did not have pizza. But, I know someone who did, and that's almost as good.

No. No, it's not. God, I want some pizza.

I think maybe tomorrow I should take an internet break. But, you know, I probably won't.

I do not like it when people say they are going to stop by and then they do not. And they do not call you to tell you they are not stopping by. Although, there is that being on the computer and they probably couldn't get through thing. But really, they should have tried harder!

Saren wrote some more stories today. She has a tendency to abandon plots in the middle of the story, but that's what makes it so damn good. All stories should do that. "So Frodo was bringing the ring to Mordor and then a big hairy leprechaun jumped out from behind a tree and it was a really a nice one and Frodo and the leprechaun went to the pub and had a glass of chocolate milk and then they got married." It's a good thing that Saren doesn't write screen adaptations. Or is it?

Tonight in honor of Jupe, I made the girls and myself some tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Hooray!

My thoughts on grilled cheese sandwiches: There is a very small window in between not fully done and burnt and it is called Grilled Cheese Perfection. Somehow I usually end up missing that window. But not tonight. Tonight I made masterpieces.

I also made a froggyprince. It's to die for.

So last night Saren told me that today would be Chocolate Girl's birthday. Chocolate Girl is her teddy bear. She is brown like chocolate. When Harper found out about this she decided that it was her baby's birthday too. And she decided her baby's name was also chocolate girl. More convenient that way, I guess. So we ate spaghetti (Chocolate Girl's favorite dinner) and we made a cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to both Chocolate Girls. I even decorated the cake. I did pretty well for a cake that was for an inanimate object. Saren wrapped up a blanket and a tiny little Pooh doll for her Chocolate Girl and Harper wrapped up a button. Coincidentally, today was also Elvis's birthday. Saren loves Elvis.

Harper's curls are growing further and further down her head. The same thing happened with Saren. She had all these lovely curls as a toddler and then her hair started to be straight on the top part. At some point I gave her a haircut and off went the baby curls. Now I can see the same thing happening to Harper. Time to have a third baby, I guess!

Just kidding, Pat. Calm down. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

I can't think of a fucking single thing to write right now. I need to make meself a sammich. With cheese and pickles. Mmmmmm.

Bah. And bah again.

Saren: What's an archer?
Me: A person with a bow and arrow.
Saren: Oh! I have a bony area! It's my butt!
Me: (after I recovered) A bow and arrow, not a bony area.

Tonight for dinner I made Various Things From Cans a la Stephanie. Scrumdiddlyumptious.

Email to me from Saren:
I love you mam and pat too and i also love strongbad. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Love, Saren

Have been looking for good fairy crafts. I think I might possibly be projecting my own recent obsession with fairies onto Saren but it's okay because she does like them. She wants to decorate her room all fairy-ish. I bought her two postcards with Amy Brown fairies on them.

Must fold laundry and put very tired child to bed. Mappy time.

Well, I missed a day again. [shrug] I was so tired I went to bed at 11:00pm. It's true, it's true!

Here are the things I like about weddings: someone gets to dress up like a princess, we get a free meal, oh...actually that's all. We had lasagna. The bride, my cousin, is named Anya. Get it? Heehee. She really did look like a princess. Her hair was all long (extensions actually, I think, but still...) and they were all wavy curly and elf-like. When I get married, I am going to have my hair exactly the same way. (Erm...)

From now on I am going a decidedly more casual route when it comes to dressing for weddings. I hate skirts, I really do. I like them in theory, I just don't like wearing them. Here is one thing I do not understand: why is every person in my family so astoundingly beautiful? My aunt (who is younger than me) has the most gorgeous boobs. Jesus, I wish I had her boobs. I don't get it. I don't think I am ugly, but in comparison to these people I look downright trollish. Ah, enough of that.

Went grocery shopping today and did not buy Pepsi. Repeat. Did not buy Pepsi. We were on a Budget and sadly, the Pepsi was not on sale. Oh well.

Harper is currently wearing 2 dresses, one pair of pants, one yellow sock, and one white sock. I have two theories: a)she dressed herself or b)her father dressed her [wink]. Seriously, Harper is the epitome of fashion.

Today we are going to make puppets. Sock puppets maybe, but maybe not if I can't find any good socks. My mother made them a puppet show curtain that hangs in the hallway on a tension rod for Christmas. So I was thinking we could make all kinds of puppets this year.

Pat's hair is mondo-big again. Should I put a funny picture of it on our website before I cut it tomorrow? I think probably.

Our washer is now fixed!!! Hooray!! (repeat repeatedly) I am doing laundry as we speak!

Also, I found 13 dollars in my coat pocket that I forgot I had. Woo-fucking-hoo!

Saren did a lot of playing with Tangrams today. Making designs and trying to fill out specific puzzles. Harper has a new love for Polly Pocket but she lost hers and Saren only occasionally lends hers away.

My only resolution/goal that I have come up with for 2003 is to read every last book that I own that I have not yet read. I don't know why I buy books and then don't read them. [rolleyes] I have started with "Where Angels Fear to Tread". Maybe that's not a good resolution. I'm looking at the bookshelf and seeing a lof of crappy stuff. Oh well.

So last night we had Saren's cousins spend the night. They are 6 and 7. They came over 4 hours before they were supposed to (unannounced) and they left one hour and fifteen minutes after they were supposed to be picked up. Saren had a blast although she was in full meltdown mode at about 9pm and every little thing was making her bawl. Overexcited, I guess. It was, um, ....well it doesn't seem as bad looking back on it. It wasn't really, I was just stressed out and irritated that they were there before I was ready for them.

We have a washer and dryer now but we can't use the washer again until the faucets are replaced. Yay and boo. I did one small load. It felt wierd to do laundry here. Goodbye Shuffle-town. *wipes tear from eye*

Unschooling makes more sense to me than any other thing in my life ever has and I want everyone to know about it. I think everyone should feel the same and it irritates me when they don't because it's just so... so... reasonable. And smart. And, um, sense-making. I'm working on a little essay for my website that defines what it means to me and my family and then I was thinking of making a FAQ. Because as I write about it there is an annoying voice in my head that keeps arguing with me. Asking the inevitable questions. But. Laziness is the bane of my existence. Hope I actually finish it.